ONLINE social networks are handy not just as a means of wasting time but also as a communications tool for business. Dell, a computer-maker, has made $3m in sales from Twitter since it started "tweeting" about its outlet that sells refurbished computers in 2007. Marketers are eager to use fast-growing networks to tout their products. An Australian online-marketing company, uSocial, wants to help them-for a price. On September 16th the firm started selling Facebook friends and fans.

    After trawling Facebook for users by criteria like age, location and interests, uSocial then recommends potential friends to companies, who approach them directly. A firm pays $727 for each 5,000 users who agree to be its friend, or 15 cents each. "Fans", who merely express support for a firm, are cheaper.

    It is not the first time uSocial has tried to sell the benefits of popular online destinations to marketers. It sells votes on websites such as Digg, which let people share content and vote on which articles should appear on the site's front page. It also sells Twitter "followers" （people who follow a user's updates） to companies looking for some positive buzz. Those websites disapprove. So does Facebook, which may try to bar uSocial from its service.

    Social networks provide "the most powerful form of advertising there is", claims Leon Hill, uSocial's boss. But not everyone thinks uSocial's idea of selling friends makes for good marketing. Andrew Petersen of the Kenan-Flagler Business School at the University of North Carolina reckons that purchasing friends or fans does not establish brand loyalty and may actually hurt a firm's image by making it seem desperate.

    Websites like Twitter and Facebook might lose some of their popularity if users feel they have become a forum for advertising rather than gossip. It is also in their interest to make sure uSocial does not claim profits that could be theirs. Facebook, which said on September 15th that it has 300m users, has struggled to make money from them. It recently launched a type of advertising that allows companies to target potential customers by letting users click on an advert to become that company's fan. The new offering from uSocial competes directly with this revenue source. No wonder uSocial does not have many friends of its own.

    首先要理解"交流是你所獲的反應(yīng)".這就是說，關(guān)鍵在于如何表達(dá)，使對(duì)方能準(zhǔn)確理解你所說的一切。假如你說的是為了要讓對(duì)方感覺良好，但卻適得其反，惹對(duì)方生氣，那就是交流失策。我們須不停地觀察對(duì)方，根據(jù)所得反應(yīng)（反饋）來調(diào)整我們的交流策略。能夠留意反饋并做出適當(dāng)調(diào)整，我們就會(huì)大有改進(jìn)。

    下一步是要有明確的目標(biāo)。大多數(shù)人總是東拉西扯的毫無真正的目標(biāo)。然而，每當(dāng)事情不能"隨心所欲"時(shí)，他們就感到驚訝或甚至于悶悶不樂。發(fā)言時(shí)要有一個(gè)目標(biāo)，并且，不要做出任何與該目標(biāo)背道而馳的言行。你若集中注意力，談話不離題，你就能達(dá)到目標(biāo)。

    另一個(gè)大好策略是幫人消愁解悶。稱贊時(shí)要含蓄，須真誠(chéng)。承認(rèn)對(duì)方在談話中提出的觀點(diǎn)，因?yàn)槿藗兗认矚g又需要得到確認(rèn)。顯示你對(duì)他人的關(guān)心與賞識(shí)：這可是一個(gè)搞好關(guān)系的竅門。

    實(shí)習(xí)"會(huì)話的慷慨".你若要令人喜歡或要具有引響力，就讓別人多發(fā)言。須知道，與我們談話的對(duì)方會(huì)很自然的感覺我們說話的時(shí)間比實(shí)際用的時(shí)間長(zhǎng)。你若用了談話的一半時(shí)間，你等于是滔滔不絕地"占用"了整個(gè)談話時(shí)間。你若用了四成時(shí)間，你的談話伙伴覺得那是"均衡"的談話。你說話時(shí)間若是三成或較短，你會(huì)被認(rèn)為是既慷慨和具有吸引力，而又是一位好聽者。最易于讓人喜歡的其中一個(gè)方法是做一個(gè)好聽者。人們巴不得別人在洗耳恭聽。奇妙的是，你說的越少，人們聽的越多，并且會(huì)牢牢記住你的話。不妨試試看！